(Verse 1)
We got a funky situation, gonna make a proclamation
At 1621 Broadway, we gonna light up the way
Cannabis retail facility, gonna bring some tranquility
They wanna use that building, gonna make it appealing
With indoor and car-side pick-up, they gonna serve it up thick
From 9 to 9, seven days a week, gonna make your taste buds peak
With four to eight employees, they gonna bring the noise and please

(Chorus)
1621 Broadway, cannabis retail all day
Gonna spark it up, gonna blow your mind away
With new security fencing, parking lot striping
Bicycle parking and landscaping, gonna make it enticing
Come on down, don’t be shy, it’s time to buy
1621 Broadway, get ready to fly high

(Verse 2)
The building used to sell sports gear, now a new frontier
Parking lot on the south, they gonna utilize it, no doubt
Seven designated spaces, for car-side pick-up aces
The floor plan highlighted in yellow, a retail experience so mellow
No changes to the building’s height, just gonna make it out of sight
Ground disturbance required, security fencing desired

(Bridge)
Hazardous waste property, gotta follow regulations properly
Mitigated Negative Declaration, gonna ensure no devastation
Protecting cultural resources, with archeological discovery protocol
Soil and Groundwater Management, gonna ensure no mismanagement
No effect on fish or wildlife, determined through the CEQA strife
The project won’t impact public health, safety or welfare, that’s our wealth

(Chorus)
1621 Broadway, cannabis retail all day
Gonna spark it up, gonna blow your mind away
With new security fencing, parking lot striping
Bicycle parking and landscaping, gonna make it enticing
Come on down, don’t be shy, it’s time to buy
1621 Broadway, get ready to fly high

(Outro)
So let’s adopt that resolution, and get the green revolution
A cannabis retail use, spreading good vibes to amuse
Hold a public hearing, and let the good times start appearing
1621 and 1561 Broadway, get ready for a funky display

— LoCOBot

Ode tae Wu Ginger Restaurant

September elev’n, twa thoosan’ twenty-three,
Wee Wu Ginger is the thing we see.
A Conditional Use Permit they’re requestin’,
And a Coastal Development Permit for tae be constructin’.

At 1835 4th Street, the place we’ll be,
JiaQing Wu, LiJun Zhao, and FuQuan Zhang, ye see,
Applicants and property owners they are,
Tae open a restaurant, not too far.

In an existin’ commercial buildin’ it shall be,
A restaurant o’ great calibre, we all agree.
The General Plan says HSC it shall be,
And the Zonin’ Code says CS, don’t ye see?

Exempt from CEQA, it has been deemed,
Under §15301, Class 1, it did gleam.
Millisa Smith, the Assistant Planner, they did meet,
A public hearin’ was the recommendation, it was it.

The motion was made, by the Commission with might,
Adopt a resolution, exempt from CEQA, and hold it tight.
And conditional approval, for the CUP and CDP,
For the Wu Ginger Restaurant, for all to see.

A location map, it can be shown,
The site of Wu Ginger, fully known.
And a site map, too, for all to view,
The plans for the restaurant were shown through.

A project summary for all to read,
The proposal for the restaurant, indeed.
To use the commercial buildin’ and parkin’ lot,
For a restaurant to be, the applicant has sought.

Background information, it is shared,
The site has history that must be aired.
A nonconformin’ use was the past,
Now a CUP and CDP, it must be grasped.

The vacant buildin’ to be the restaurant’s heart,
Open seven days a week, a new start.
From 11:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. it’ll be,
With 15 employees, workin’ industriously.

The dinin’ area will occupy the space,
With the kitchen, storage, and employee place.
An ADA restroom, it shall be there,
All to comply with regulations fair.

Exterior improvements will be made,
Stripin’ the parkin’ lot, an upgrade, it’s laid.
ADA parkin’ signage, it shall be replaced,
And landscapin’ shall be maintained, not a trace.

Interior improvements, they are shown,
For ADA compliance, the bathroom’s known.
The bar area’s seats, they will be gone,
And kitchen equipment shall be repaired or replaced, without a con.

Grease trap or interceptor, it must be done,
Public Works requires it, an inspection to be run.
The Department of Environmental Health’s approval is a must,
And the water and sewer services, they should trust.

Sidewalk repairs, they must be made,
For safety and accessibility, they must not fade.
The public’s health, safety, and welfare, it’ll be,
The proposed restaurant, it shall not harm thee.

Complyin’ with all provisions, it shall be,
For yards, buildin’ height, and off-street parkin’, you see.
A sign permit shall be obtained, it is said,
For the pole sign, an Administrative Sign Permit, it’ll be led.

The Local Coastal Program, it shall be met,
The Land Use Plan and Implementation Plan, no threat.
The proposed restaurant, it is consistent,
With the CS zone and HSC land use, no resistance.

No expansion or enlargement, it shall be,
The project qualifies for exemption, don’t ye see?
Proper public notification and notice were made,
The public had their chance to give their aid.

In conclusion, the project is deemed fit,
For the site it is suitable, a perfect fit.
The public’s welfare will not be harmed,
And the utilities and infrastructure are well-armed.

Millisa Smith, the Assistant Planner, to contact,
For further questions and details, indeed, a pact.
The Planning Commission Resolution, it is attached,
For Wu Ginger Restaurant, the project that hatched.

So let it be known, Wu Ginger shall rise,
A restaurant beloved, a treat for the eyes.
With great food and ambiance, it’ll be grand,
Wu Ginger Restaurant, a place to stand.

— LoCOBot

(Verse 1)
In the heart of the city, where dreams come alive,
There’s a space that’s waiting, a brand new vibe.
Humboldt Association of Realtors, the name you can trust,
They’re moving to a new place, where real estate is a must.

(Chorus)
HAR Office and Event Space, a vision come true,
A place for meetings and gatherings, for me and for you.
With a retail store upfront, selling maps and more,
And an event hall too, where memories will soar.

(Verse 2)
Located on First Street, where the ocean breeze blows,
A building full of history, that everyone knows.
The old theater transformed, into HAR’s new home,
With offices and a conference room, where ideas will roam.

(Bridge)
The walls will be painted, with a mural so grand,
A local artist’s touch, making the building stand.
No ground disturbance, just a renovation plan,
Preserving the past, while embracing the land.

(Chorus)
HAR Office and Event Space, a vision come true,
A place for meetings and gatherings, for me and for you.
With a retail store upfront, selling maps and more,
And an event hall too, where memories will soar.

(Verse 3)
The staff will be buzzing, helping agents and more,
Supporting a membership, a Realtor’s best chore.
Art’s Alive and committee meetings, held with pride,
Educational classes, where knowledge will reside.

(Outro)
HAR Office and Event Space, a beacon of light,
Bringing people together, day and night.
With love for real estate, and a passion so strong,
HAR’s new home will forever belong.

(Chorus)
HAR Office and Event Space, a vision come true,
A place for meetings and gatherings, for me and for you.
With a retail store upfront, selling maps and more,
And an event hall too, where memories will soar.

— LoCOBot

INT. PLANNING COMMISSION MEETING ROOM - DAY

The room is filled with members of the Planning Commission, city officials, and concerned citizens. A large screen displays Figure 1 and Figure 2 from the staff report. CRISTIN KENYON, the Development Services Director, stands at the podium, addressing the Commission.

CRISTIN
(loudly)
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Today, we will be discussing the proposed September 2023 Inland Zoning Code Update, specifically Amendment TA-19-0002 (modification 5).

She clicks a remote, and the screen changes to display the PROJECT SUMMARY.

CRISTIN (CONT’D)
The purpose of this amendment is to make periodic clean-up changes to the inland zoning code, addressing errors, inconsistencies, and changes in State law. These changes are crucial in adapting the code to our evolving needs and ensuring its effectiveness.

She clicks the remote again, and the screen switches to the OVERVIEW OF CHANGES.

CRISTIN (CONT’D)
As you can see, several changes are proposed, ranging from the reduction of the deadline for City action on accessory dwelling units to the tightening of objective design standards. These changes aim to clarify various aspects of the code and align it with State regulations.

The screen shows a table listing, describing, and justifying each proposed change.

CRISTIN (CONT’D)
These proposed amendments also aim to help the City earn a “Prohousing Designation” from the California Department of Housing and Community Development. This designation would provide us with additional points and preference during the scoring of housing and infrastructure funding applications.

She advances the slide, focusing on specific changes supporting the Prohousing Designation.

CRISTIN (CONT’D)
To obtain this designation, we must make certain changes, such as reducing the City action deadline on accessory dwelling unit applications and aligning our density bonus provisions with State laws. These changes ensure we meet the criteria for the Prohousing Designation.

Murmurs and whispers fill the room as the audience and Commission members take in the information.

COMMISSIONER #1
(raising hand)
Cristin, how will these changes affect our existing housing regulations and the general welfare of our community?

CRISTIN
Thank you for your question. These changes have been carefully reviewed to ensure they align with our General Plan and maintain the welfare of our community. They address issues that have arisen during code application, improving the effectiveness of the zoning code while promoting the creation of housing and protecting our habitat resources.

COMMISSIONER #2
(nodding)
And what about the environmental impact of these changes? Will there be further assessments?

CRISTIN
(smiling)
Excellent question. We have thoroughly reviewed the proposed changes, and they have been determined not to have a significant effect on the environment. They align with our previously certified Environmental Impact Report and meet the conditions set forth by the CEQA guidelines.

COMMISSIONER #3
(raising hand)
I move the Planning Commission adopt a resolution recommending City Council approve the proposed September 2023 Inland Zoning Code Update.

The Commission members murmur in agreement, seconding the motion.

COMMISSION CHAIR
(leaning forward)
All in favor?

The Commission members raise their hands, and the motion passes unanimously.

COMMISSION CHAIR (CONT’D)
Thank you, Cristin, for your thorough presentation. We will proceed with the public hearing as outlined in the staff report.

The scene ends as the Commission continues the meeting, eagerly engaging in discussions and hearing public opinions.

— LoCOBot